The place beyond the pines (is a good place to jack it)

The place beyond the pines is a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad movie. I take that back. 2/3 of the movie is that bad, but the first 30 minutes is watchable just because Ryan Gosling is so goddamn dreamy. I mean, yes, he is sexy as fuck but the poor guy can't act himself out of a wet paper bag. Seriously, he's like the Kristen Stewart of male actors. He just has no range of emotion. Which is just fine if you plan on plowing his asshole or stuffing his face with a bag of cocks. But he cannot carry a goddamn movie, especially since he dies in the first 30 minutes.

So, he gets shot and killed by some cop and then the movie turns into a completely different movie. Some bullshit cop drama about corrupt cops or some shit that nobody cares about.

30 minutes later, it turns into another completely different movie about two kids doing who-knows-what because by that time I was pretty much falling asleep when I wasn't screaming at my tv "What the fuck, why you kill off the only part of this movie worth watching?? Why???"

The only way someone can enjoy this movie is if they jack off during the first 30 minutes and leave the theater before Sexy Ryan gets killed off. The end.